http://warmknittedthings.blogspot.com/

I hate anxiety.

Please leave me alone. Or at least let me go home.

Rachel and I have driven about 1,000 miles and the trip is just beginning! The last few days have been full of random encounters and highway construction.

I'm writing to say I'm alive and happy and a little hungry (as usual). We expect to get to Portland earlier than expected, but still have lots of the country to see! We're in Chicago today (we're staying with Adrienne's second family!) and tomorrow we head to Sioux Falls, SD! From there we'll camp in the badlands and then head up to Glacier National Park. After a few days there, we'll start our trek south to Portland. So far, so good.

I have to be at the shoot tomorrow at 6:30 am. It is 45 minutes away from home. This is so not cool.

I hate it went I get afraid of little things--of insignificant things.

What could possibly cause one people to want to exterminate another?

Rachel and I took a 6-mile walk this morning and it was really good.

This is what's in Anna's brain right now. Oh, and Legally Blonde the musical. Laugh all you want :)

this girl's 18

I officially leave in a week from this Sunday. The trip should be fun--mainly due to my new discovery: Playboy radio.

I'm packing

Won't write too much now except:

AERO (alternative education resource org.) conference was life-altering, found mentors and friends, inspiration
made contacts with free schoolers (students and staff) from all over the country, but especially in Portland
got invited to national democratic education conference in BC right during scheduled road trip
found community that extends beyond ages represented at NBTSC
ate lots of food
now feel like I have a purpose and mission right now

but all the more so drained and beaten by the summer camp that I currently work in
mistreatment of children is abound
must put value back in play

I'm feeling like

what the fuck am I doing?! Fear is definitely kicking in...

various Christian denominations?

What are you? Your family? What do they believe? What is your own understanding of the staples of that (or other) denominations of Christianity?

I'm off to research mormonism and that makes me feel especially unschooly tonight.

Hugs,
Anna

I bought two white mice yesterday. and a tank. and food. and one of those wheel things.

hahhaaa

When I'm anxious, I get impulsive. I can't keep them--I'm leaving soon. I don't know /what/ I was thinking! I'll freecycle them, I suppose. This is very funny and entirely unsettling at the same time...

But the woman at the pet store said they would be sold as snake food!!

::sigh::

Recently, life seems to be washed in hesitancy and fear--both feelings I have not really had to deal with since being on medication. And I know it's all in anticipation for my move. My body is becoming less predictable--the different feelings and their meanings are changing up. It's definitely manageable, but I'm so tempted to up my dosage.

When in the middle of it, it's hard to trust that it will go away. But I *know* it will get better. I know that this current bout of anxiety is just temporary--merely a reflection of the chaos in my brain that refuses to verbalize itself.

I really should start journaling again...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=P8drsMmoT1s

be impressed

it's really raining
this is a good thing

Isn't it beautiful?
red tomatoes, orange pepper, yellow cheese, green spinach, blue (dyed) cauliflower,purple olives!

PRIDE was amazing
Lots of walking and free stuff and feeling connected
Lunch with friends.sister
The History Boys (again, and just as good as the first time)
Gay night in JP--gay pizza (pictures to come!) and badly acted movies from the 90s
Late night subway conversations with pride-goers
Home at 1am

It's been a longgggg day.

...for ratemyprofessors.com :)

So, I have a thing for taking care of abandoned/hurt wild animals--which is pretty uncharacteristic, I think.

Yesterday, I took a group of local neighborhood kids into my old "clubhouse." In it, we were pretty excited to find this little baby field mouse hanging out on the floor. After some brief internet research and armed with gardening gloves, we gently tried giving it warm milk. If I had actually thought the baby (eyes still closed) had a chance at survival, I probably would have left it alone. It was such a great evening--all of us huddling around the baby mouse, learning how to feed it gently, hold it, and by aware, in general. The kids collected grass and we made a little bed. When we left for the night, I didn't think it possible that we would find the mouse alive in the morning.

Alas, we did. So, I went to the local pharmacy and picked up a box of latex gloves and a medicine dropper thing. When I got back, the kids ran up and told me they had found another baby mouse! We became expert little feeders --everyone was very diligent and careful! I was so proud of them (youngest is 7) We all leave for a lunch break--my sister and I go out and do some errands. We come back and--guess what? Another baby mouse appeared! So, there were were...surrounding three baby mice that had yet to open their eyes. It was then that we really began to suspect the nest and/or mother must be in the clubhouse because it would have been impossible for the babies to get in. So, my older sister did some investigating and GUESS WHAT? Another baby! And a mother! After two days of intense care and attention, we were able to reunite the babies with their mother. I just hope mice are not the kind of animals that reject their babies after being touched by humans (gloved hands!)

One of the three did die and we gave it a proper ceremony.

Watching all the kids care for the mice was incredibly beautiful.

And this explains, Cassia, why I disappeared during Rocky Horror if you looked to find me afterwards...

SO. Virgin to Rocky Horror, I went for the first time last night. It was pretty crazy and confusing, but fun. I was dancing time warp in some big heals and my neck started to hurt. So, I sat down and did some head rolls, but it got worse. And all of a sudden, I couldn't move it. I made my way out of the theater to get some air, but it kept on getting worse and really painful. I got to my car and drove home around midnight with my head tilted to the side--probably not the safest driving position! Crying, crying, I make my way home, rang my doorbell because I couldn't reach my keys. The next two hours were so painful--I thought, for sure, that I was going to need to go the the ER. Luckily, my dad's a doctor. He positioned my head and kept his hand under it, gently changing its position. Gave me some medicine and I got some relief. Woke up today and am in much better spirits, but can't keep my head straight or pain shoots. Going to get a neck collar and hope for the best. It's probably just a pulled muscle, but god, is it painful!

ANYWAY. That was my Friday night--hope yours was better. Cassia, how was teh rest of the show?

The Jewish Advocate, a paper the reaches out to the conservative and orthodox communities of Greater Boston, covers the Jewish basics--kosher recipes, advice for raising religious children, ads for Jewish day schools and summer camps, editorials on politics from a Jewish perspective...it's all good.

But I seem to have problems with a few contributing writers...

In the May 30th addition, Tom Mountain is at it again with his article entitled "Sanctifying the Survival of Israel." In bold lettering, one statement is larger than the rest: President Bush has assured the Jews that the Third Jewish Commonwealth will never fall. Essentially, Tom Mountain goes on to list various examples to prove his main point--that George W. Bush really is the most pro-Israel American president we've had since the state formed. What looks like an entire article based off of a series of quotes taken directly from a quick google search of "Bush Israel talks," Mountain seems to think he presents a pretty convincing argument as to why Bush is fantastic because if his pro-Israel views. I mean, Bush has "touched the Western wall..." and "prayed at Yad Vashem."

(While he was...what...avoiding Hurricane Katrina victims? Getting eyes off of the government's continual and unethical revisions of the IPCC reports?)

But I do believe in political choice. It is essential to any part-democracy like our own. And I do think there are many Jews who find solace in some of President Bush's statements regarding Israel. However, I do draw the line...

Mountain closes his article, "As of now any American Jew who dares to mock, slander, or utter the name of George W. Bush with anything but glowing praise, ought to be tarred and feathered and banished from the Jewish community."

I do not think this is a good representation of the Jewish community--including the one that this paper reaches. It's unfortunate that Mountain feels as though he as the ability to make such grand statements such as the one above. Shall I give him a white mask and noose along with the tar and feathers?

So! My family is boycotting the paper and sending a letter to the editor. If you feel similarly, you should, too! Nothing gets a better message across better than boycotting! It's peaceful, safe, and effective. The Jewish conservative and orthodox communities deserve a better paper.

Thoughts?